Here’s How to Use It Right

There’s a piece of presentation wisdom so old that most people have heard it, nodded politely, and then largely ignored it:

1. Tell them what you will tell them.
2. Tell them.
3. Tell them what you told them.

It sounds overly simple. But the reason this advice has survived decades of management trends and communication theory is because it works. The mistake most people make is treating it as a presentation technique.

It’s not. It’s a discipline for ensuring that communication actually occurs.

Because broadcasting a message and successfully communicating a message are not the same thing.

Featured Image (top left) by Russ Murray / @remages

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Communication Is Not a Monologue

When people hear this three-part rule, they imagine a podium: open with an agenda, deliver the content, close with a summary.

That works for one-way broadcasting, but most business communication isn’t a broadcast.
It’s a dialogue.

• Meetings
• Project workshops
• Stakeholder reviews
• Executive updates
• Client discussions

These are interactive environments. Applying a monologue framework to a dialogue setting creates the illusion of communication — without the substance. Real communication is a handshake. It’s call and response. It only succeeds when the intended message has been received, understood, and confirmed.

Until that confirmation happens, you haven’t communicated.
You’ve only transmitted.

In complex professional settings — especially in transformation projects, system implementations, or high-stakes decision-making — that distinction matters enormously.

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Step 1: Align Before You Begin

“Tell them what you will tell them” is not about reading an agenda slide. It’s about aligning expectations before the discussion starts. Before diving into substance, clarify three things:

• The purpose of the discussion
• The approach you plan to take
• What a successful outcome looks like

Then check: does this match what others expected? Most teams skip this step. The cost is misalignment.

You spend an hour presenting detailed execution plans to a room expecting strategic debate. A stakeholder surfaces a fundamental concern halfway through. A decision-maker reveals they needed something different from what you prepared.

Two minutes of alignment at the beginning prevents all of that.

In disciplined project environments — including the way we structure client engagements at CKS — this upfront alignment is treated as risk control, not formality. Expectations are confirmed before work proceeds.

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Step 2: Communicate as Agreed — and Stay Present

The second step — “tell them” — is where content lives. But delivery alone is not success. Interactive communication requires attention to what’s happening in the room:

• Are participants following?
• Are questions surfacing that indicate gaps?
• Are reactions signaling confusion or disagreement?

The goal is not to get through your material.
The goal is shared understanding.

That often requires pausing, clarifying, reframing, or adjusting in real time.

In high-stakes projects, especially those involving operational or technology change, misunderstanding rarely announces itself loudly. It shows up subtly — in hesitant questions, partial agreement, or silence.

Skilled communicators treat those signals as data, not interruptions.

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Step 3: Confirm the Communication Closed

“Tell them what you told them” is the most underrated part of the framework. In a true two-way context, closing properly means:

• Recapping key points
• Confirming what was decided
• Clarifying open questions
• Assigning next steps and owners
• Verifying that expectations were met

A simple “Any questions?” is not confirmation.

Without an intentional close, it’s entirely possible for every participant to leave with a different interpretation of what just happened.

A five-minute summary and confirmation can prevent weeks of downstream confusion.

Disciplined teams — including the way we formalize governance and follow-ups in our own client work — rely heavily on this step. Decisions are documented. Alignment is restated. Ownership is explicit.

Not because it’s bureaucratic.
Because it prevents failure.

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What Happens When You Skip a Step

Each stage functions as a safeguard:

• Skip alignment — you risk misaligned expectations.
• Skip interactive delivery — you risk miscommunication.
• Skip confirmation — you risk complete communication failure — the most dangerous type, because it often goes unnoticed until consequences appear.

Email makes this especially deceptive. A sent message feels complete. A “Got it” reply feels reassuring.

But neither guarantees shared understanding.

Every skipped step increases risk.
Skip all three, and failure is almost guaranteed.

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Why This Matters Most When Stakes Are Highest

In casual conversations, misunderstandings self-correct. In critical business contexts — major initiatives, system transformations, executive decisions, client negotiations — miscommunication compounds quickly.

• A misaligned kickoff leads to misdirected work.
• An unconfirmed decision creates conflicting downstream action.
• An executive update interpreted differently than intended erodes trust.

The higher the stakes, the more disciplined the communication must be.

The three-step model — align, communicate, confirm — provides that discipline.

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Putting It Into Practice

The framework is simple. What it requires is intentionality:

• Before the meeting: align expectations.
• During the discussion: verify understanding.
• Afterward: confirm what was decided and what happens next.

Over time, this becomes more than a technique.
It becomes a professional differentiator.

Teams that operate this way move faster. They reduce rework. They build trust. They avoid relitigating decisions that were never clearly made.

The oldest communication advice is still the best.
It’s about mutual confirmation.

Tell them what you will tell them — and check that they agree.
Tell them — and check that they understand.
Tell them what you told them — and check that it landed.

That’s not repetition. That’s communication.